Yes I am annoyed. I'm annoyed with myself but it's actually quite healthy for me. Instead of letting my inner anger beat me down I'm using it to kick my own butt in gear. The other day that I posted I never did get in half the exercises I set out to do. I got in more treadmill but time got away from me and I had to take off to meet my friend for a date out of town.
Anyhow... yeah annoyances. My curling bar broke today... it was actually pretty damn new and it snapped at the joint, literally the steel end of one half of it is crumbling away. Cheap-cheap-cheap! I'm so very annoyed and going to do my best to get my money back or at least store credit at wal-of-mart where I bought said curling bar from.
Other main annoyance is my strength is down, severely down. It's not good but it's my own fault for being lax on my weight training efforts this summer. I was able to bench 60 lbs. at 14 reps at my peak now I struggle with 40 pounds and barely able to get 12 reps. I just need to reassess what I'm doing and focus slowly from the bottom and work on gaining again. They don't call it getting a build for no reason. You really do have to build it up very slowly over time. If miracles could happen in a day there would be a hell of a lot more happy people out there.
Anyhow, I'm off to go get dressed for my job in Ye'Old retail then get my happy butt to the gym directly after. I've got nobody to push me so I need to learn how to keep pushing myself better, harder and with more tenacity.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Feeling clean!
I'm so sweaty I can't cross my legs, and I can feel the beads of sweat running down my back. Despite being decidedly icky on this balmy evening in the Witch City (70 degrees with 84% humidity!), I feel very clean... on the inside.
It started when I was jogging this afternoon. I call it evening - it's as fast as I can really go, being somewhat out of shape these 12 years out of high school track (though you could argue I wasn't in great shape back then either - 5'2", 125 pounds and fairly low on muscle mass. I was a chubby 125.) - but really, to anyone watching, it's probably jogging. So anyway, I was out running/jogging, spurred on by Danzig and I just felt like my insides were getting clean. I was sweating out - processing out - all the junk that was dragging my body down.
The important part isn't just feeling that - it's remembering it, and using it again and again - and cleaning it out until all the junk is gone. That's my motivation for the day.
These are my awesome shoes.
It started when I was jogging this afternoon. I call it evening - it's as fast as I can really go, being somewhat out of shape these 12 years out of high school track (though you could argue I wasn't in great shape back then either - 5'2", 125 pounds and fairly low on muscle mass. I was a chubby 125.) - but really, to anyone watching, it's probably jogging. So anyway, I was out running/jogging, spurred on by Danzig and I just felt like my insides were getting clean. I was sweating out - processing out - all the junk that was dragging my body down.
The important part isn't just feeling that - it's remembering it, and using it again and again - and cleaning it out until all the junk is gone. That's my motivation for the day.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Breaking the Funk.
Yeah, it's been a very off week for me. I've been lax on my gym efforts and well lax on life as a whole when I slide into these massive depression boughts. Work became overwhelmingly frustrating a few days ago when I was already having personal issues to work through and well... needless to say; we all have a breaking point. I broke down, cried and almost had to quit my job. I literally spent one entire day off on my couch in and out of sleep. I've zero, zip, zilch energy or motivation to do what I normally strive to do for myself, for the last few days. Normally I at least hit my treadmill for a good 25 to 40 minutes at minimum just to keep up my exercise habit formation. Yes, you do need to form the habit and keep on it or it will go away. That is no lie. Don't let that phrase bring you down too much though. I went through a period of 3 months where I stopped working out altogether a year ago and I've bounced back from it and well. Just keep on returning and don't beat yourself up too hard and you will have some success.
Anyhow, got back on my horse today, after a week of eating nearly an entire pizza one night, drinking like a tank another and having my boss take me out to calorie laden Olive Garden last night. Do I regret any of it... honestly no and you shouldn't either when you break away from doing the "right thing" It's very unrealistic to think "I can be perfect and if I'm not then I'm a failure." Just gotta be able to swing back from the lows that life does give us and continue forward for yourself. Wanted to get to the gym today but I procrastinated this morning terribly and have opted for my home workout instead since I have a long drive later this afternoon to see a friend out of town. I'm actually writing this in my rest period I give myself between my initial treadmill power walk and starting my light free weight routine. I completed 30 minutes on my treadmill and am doing back, shoulder and bicep exercises today. Actually I plan on throwing in some deadlifts as well since I haven't had a proper leg exercise in almost 5 days due to my funk period.
Just saying, don't give up folks and don't deny yourself life either. You know what I had this morning, half a piece of Irish Car Bomb cake and a mocha coffee. You know what... I live life pretty reasonably these days despite how it may seem. I started out at 245 pounds. Keep in mind I'm 5'4" and carried a majority of that weight straight on my belly and upper thighs. I did have cankles but my massive stomach made them dwarf in appearance. I wore size 52 men's pants stomach wise. I now wear size 36 gladly on my naturally seated pant area a few inches inches below my natural waist line. I actually had no defined shape left to my body when I was that heavy, no waiste line... just wide breasts that were like fat pancakes and a massive stomach, double chin and fat legs. I was all very ashamed of it all and thusly myself, even has a person on the inside I felt like garbage at my worst. Also a good note to you folks: the natural waist is seated much higher than people realize, it's right below your chest, mine is measured at a 32 inches but most modern clothes are much lower waisted than that. So when a mag-rag says my waist is this crazy small number... keep in mind they are NOT talking about where normal humans wear pants. It's a skewed perspective to make their article and person featured in it seem more impressive than they really are. Part of the unrealistic expectation syndrome that gets planted in our cultures heads unfortunately. Honestly, someday I dream of the possibility of maybe even wearing a 34 without it feeling tight on me. Hey you never know and when you meet one goal, it's good to put another in place.
Well have a great day everyone and I'll be glad to banter more at you very soon and tell you how my home weight training went for me today. Ciao for now folks!
Anyhow, got back on my horse today, after a week of eating nearly an entire pizza one night, drinking like a tank another and having my boss take me out to calorie laden Olive Garden last night. Do I regret any of it... honestly no and you shouldn't either when you break away from doing the "right thing" It's very unrealistic to think "I can be perfect and if I'm not then I'm a failure." Just gotta be able to swing back from the lows that life does give us and continue forward for yourself. Wanted to get to the gym today but I procrastinated this morning terribly and have opted for my home workout instead since I have a long drive later this afternoon to see a friend out of town. I'm actually writing this in my rest period I give myself between my initial treadmill power walk and starting my light free weight routine. I completed 30 minutes on my treadmill and am doing back, shoulder and bicep exercises today. Actually I plan on throwing in some deadlifts as well since I haven't had a proper leg exercise in almost 5 days due to my funk period.
Just saying, don't give up folks and don't deny yourself life either. You know what I had this morning, half a piece of Irish Car Bomb cake and a mocha coffee. You know what... I live life pretty reasonably these days despite how it may seem. I started out at 245 pounds. Keep in mind I'm 5'4" and carried a majority of that weight straight on my belly and upper thighs. I did have cankles but my massive stomach made them dwarf in appearance. I wore size 52 men's pants stomach wise. I now wear size 36 gladly on my naturally seated pant area a few inches inches below my natural waist line. I actually had no defined shape left to my body when I was that heavy, no waiste line... just wide breasts that were like fat pancakes and a massive stomach, double chin and fat legs. I was all very ashamed of it all and thusly myself, even has a person on the inside I felt like garbage at my worst. Also a good note to you folks: the natural waist is seated much higher than people realize, it's right below your chest, mine is measured at a 32 inches but most modern clothes are much lower waisted than that. So when a mag-rag says my waist is this crazy small number... keep in mind they are NOT talking about where normal humans wear pants. It's a skewed perspective to make their article and person featured in it seem more impressive than they really are. Part of the unrealistic expectation syndrome that gets planted in our cultures heads unfortunately. Honestly, someday I dream of the possibility of maybe even wearing a 34 without it feeling tight on me. Hey you never know and when you meet one goal, it's good to put another in place.
Well have a great day everyone and I'll be glad to banter more at you very soon and tell you how my home weight training went for me today. Ciao for now folks!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Look at me! I'm a normal human!
Hello world. I'd like to give a slight introduction to myself. I'm a normal average human female. What you don't know is, I work INCREDIBLY hard at times to even fit into what people have deemed average/fat. My natural state of being to be honest is that of LARDO FAT ASS and I admit to as such. Wearing size 14 pants for me I consider smaller and I'm actually proud to be able to fit into them! I tire of seeing advertisements for quick fixes and people saying "LOOK AT ME! I lost 20 pounds and now life is fantastic!" No, no, and NO. It doesn't work that way in the realm of reality. Are you better off for trying to be healthier? Yes. Is it going to fix all that upsets you in the world. No. Is it hard? Yes. Can you do it? The true answer to that is - Only if you want to and have realistic expectations of yourself. Not everyone can magically become a size two, 4 or 6 no matter how hard they try. It's not reality folks and it's high time more people stepped up to say that to the world! I'm here to tell all of you just that and more in the days to come. I'm not perfect, and you'll hopefully see a bit of my world the way it really is for me. Not just with exercising, training, moderate dieting but with life as a whole and all it can entail at times.
Peace Out for now and mucho taco love to all of you! (Yes, I like bad for me foods! There is no sin in that.)
Peace Out for now and mucho taco love to all of you! (Yes, I like bad for me foods! There is no sin in that.)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Fall down 7, get up 8
Clearly, I didn't stick with it.
My problem with the sort of program in the Drop 10 Challenge (which I wrote about in April) is that I need to think in terms of what the plan allows - there's little room for spontaneity, and I have to (gasp!) plan. That doesn't work so well for someone with ADD
.
I've ditched the Drop 10 Challenge - it didn't take long - and sought the advice of the Internet on what to try next. I think I've found it.
It's simple. It's nearly idiot-proof. It's the No S Diet.
No Snacks. No Sweets. No Seconds... except Sometimes, on days that start with S.
Of course, that leaves room for interpretation, and it's up to me to make sure that those meals are healthy first and foremost. I find that it's much easier to not get upset with myself about eating total crap if I have it with other healthy bits of a meal.
My problem with the sort of program in the Drop 10 Challenge (which I wrote about in April) is that I need to think in terms of what the plan allows - there's little room for spontaneity, and I have to (gasp!) plan. That doesn't work so well for someone with ADD
.I've ditched the Drop 10 Challenge - it didn't take long - and sought the advice of the Internet on what to try next. I think I've found it.
It's simple. It's nearly idiot-proof. It's the No S Diet.
No Snacks. No Sweets. No Seconds... except Sometimes, on days that start with S. |
| Ice cream, we won't be parted for long. We can wait 'til the weekend. |
 |
| It counts if it's a meal! |
And honestly, this No Sweets thing is helping. The other day I opened a bag of Swedish Fish
without finishing it. For me, that's an accomplishment.
without finishing it. For me, that's an accomplishment.
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